Today I rant about the wonderful world of adver-games.
EVERY time I go to a game store, I see that same thing.
"Bratz: Become-A-Pedophiles-Dream Puzzle Adventure!"
"Sally And the Impressionables--Movie tie-in"
What the hell guys. Where did good games go? 7/8 of the shelf space is devoted to STUPID LITTLE CHILDREN AND THEIR SPINELESS PARENTS. Then, at the bottom, one copy of Apollo Justice, eight copies of Mario Kart, and some creepy Japanese almost-porn game.
Why don't we leave the making of games to people who want to make games?
Less "If you only liked the movie out of peer pressure, you're going to looove the game!"
Half of these are just clones of some ancient puzzle/platformer that faded into obscurity.
It's like when you're playing a game with your friends, having a nice time seeing who can beat so-and-so's high score.
Suddenly, your parents pop in.
"O HAI GUISE, OTHER CHILD SALLY CAN PLAYS TWOO?"
Then they plop a little child next to you.
Of course, you're playing a real game, aren't you, maybe it has violence or a bit of swearing.
Good god, not any more you aren't!
Why, there's a child in there! Quick, get me another game!
Phew! That's better!
I mean, safer that your child play a game about sexually promiscuous teens than anything with violence in it, right?
I send this message to you Nintendo (the main culprit, sadly)
Screw concerned parents.
To hell with tiny little Sally-grubby-fingers who wants to play a game.
They want to play a game? Well okay.
But don't forget us, the ones who like GOOD GAMES WITH SUBSTANCE.
No more movie tie-ins.
No more of this "Imagine Vet/Fashion Designer/Teacher/Nanny" shit.
Casual gaming is fine.
Shelves clogged with adver-games are not.
The purpose of adver-games is not to entertain.
The purpose of adver-games is to...you guessed it, advertise.
Stop it.
It's not cute anymore.
Also, link of the week is to Zero Punctuation, a spectacular Australian video-game reviewer. He has a sharp with, talks fast and is right about just about everything.
Zero Punctuation.
